Heart & Soul
by big tears
Summary: This was Niles during the couples therapy timeframe. A man can appear brave on the outside while dying on the inside.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Frasier, although I'm very sure you all assumed I do *sarcastic snort*. 

  
[*]

  
She had looked beautiful, standing there in that red dress with all the glamor and attitude of a dance master, her rapture showing plainly on her gorgeous face. Or so he had thought.

  
_Once upon a time, there was a secretly miserable man named Niles Crane._

  
He couldn't understand it. He was a psychiatrist - a very successful one, at that - and he couldn't understand what about her was so intoxicating. And he couldn't understand why he didn't just come right out and tell her how he felt. But mostly, he couldn't understand what he was still doing with Maris.

  
_Niles was miserable because he was married to an evil, disgustingly thin, manipulative witch, and there was nothing he could do to resist any command she gave him. That, and he was madly in love with a goddess who was much too good for him, and who also had no idea how he felt. It was enough to make a grown man cry... which it sometimes did._

  
Of course, his wife was his wife, and Niles was much too dignified for passionate adultery - even if the woman he happened to be legally bound to drove him completely insane. That was rather ironic, he thought. A psychiatrist going mad. But if there was anyone who could drive him to it, it was Maris. 

  
_The unnerving pencil that was his wife had always pushed Niles around, and although he was a bit of a coward, he had done his best to stand up to her controlling ways. Which wasn't very spectacular, by the way. However, the minute something would go wrong, the goddess would put a comforting arm around him, and reassure him of the world. And although he knew that it was nothing more than a friend being good to a friend in her eyes, Niles had a very hard time trying not to bury his head in her shoulder and cry._

  
Daphne. Daphne Moon had always been there, from the first moment she had learned what a beast Maris was, she would let Niles know that she was there for him, and offer to make a cup of tea. It was part of her angelic demeanor, he reasoned. She was completely and perfectly compassionate, she loved to look after people... and he loved her to look after him.

  
And oh, that smashing red dress...

  
_Niles would dream about "his" goddess almost every night. She put the most pleasant, optimistic thoughts in his head. And she would tell absolutely enthralling stories about her family..._

  
Presently, he sighed, resting his forehead against the smooth surface of his desk. He let his glossy, black pen fall from his thin fingers, and he clutched at the edge of the world which was being torn before his weary eyes. Life was awful. So many problems, so many hours and days and years to try and figure out what to do about anything, and then coming up with nothing at all. 

  
_Heart and soul, I fell in love with you heart and soul, the way a fool would do, madly..._

  
Without her, it was a void of empty space, his own sad voice echoing through his mind at all hours, calling out for the unattainable... He was losing it. He needed her desperately, and without her, his body was barely inhabited by the real Dr. Niles Crane. How did he know it was her that was doing this? Simple. This had started the night he met her.

  
He sighed, and sat up so that his next patient wouldn't wonder what in the world was wrong with him. 

  
The truth was, nothing _was_ wrong with him, and as hard as life was treating him, he knew that tonight, when Maris turned her nose up at him and Frasier was too busy being the pompous and unreasonable cretin that he was, when Dad was chugging his Ballentines and Eddie had his head buried under a sock; he knew that when he rang Frasier's doorbell, that Daphne would answer with a cheerful "Hello, Dr. Crane, how has your day been?" And after that, she would invite him into the kitchen to help with dinner, listen to all his problems, and finally smile, very sadly. She would say:

  
"Now, Dr. Crane... any woman in the world would be lucky to have a gent like you interested in her." Then she would place a warm hand on his shoulder. "Don't you worry a thing about Maris," she would lower her voice slightly, a very kind tone that would make Niles' ears tingle happily. "If you ask me, I don't think she's really worth the trouble."

  
And he would cherish that moment, because Maris wasn't worth the trouble. And to hear the love of his life say that could completely turn things around.

  
There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Niles Crane composed himself as his next appointment stepped inside the office. 


End file.
